TL;DR: After three mistakes in the same area, you either learn a new skill, delegate it, outsource it, or leave. Repeating the same mistakes proves you're either wrong for the job or fundamentally can't improve in that area. It's not the company's job to fix you. Self-improvement is your responsibility.
If You Cannot Learn From Mistakes, You Are Out
I screwed up three presentations in a row during my first year as CIO.
Same mistake each time. I buried the main point 20 slides deep. My CEO would sit there, drumming his fingers, waiting for me to get to what actually mattered. After the third disaster, I had a choice.
Learn presentation design. Hire someone who could build decks. Or find another job.
I chose option one. Took a course. Practiced. The fourth presentation? Nailed it.
That's when I created my mistake budget.
The Three-Strike Rule That Changed Everything
Here's how it works: You get three mistakes in the same area.
Strike one? Fine. Everyone messes up.
Strike two? Pay attention. Something's not clicking.
Strike three? Decision time. Learn the skill you're missing. Delegate it. Outsource it. Or admit this isn't your role.
Research shows that learning from errors requires effort, time, and vulnerability (van Mourik et al., 2023). But if you're repeating the same mistake after multiple attempts, you're either in the wrong job or fundamentally unable to improve in that specific area.
That's not cruel. That's reality.
Your Brain Can Change, But Only If You Make It
The science backs this up.
Neuroplasticity research demonstrates that when people repeatedly practice an activity, their neural networks shape themselves according to that activity (Voss et al., 2017). Your brain physically changes when you learn.
But if you're making the same mistake repeatedly, you're not learning. You're reinforcing the wrong pattern.
Every time you repeat a mistake, you're digging the same hole deeper. Your brain is literally wiring itself to fail in that specific way.
The acquisition of skills occurs through repetitive practice that strengthens specific neural pathways (Dayan & Cohen, 2011). After three attempts, if nothing's changed, the evidence is clear. Either you're not trying to learn, or you can't learn this particular skill.
The Hard Truth About Managing People
Most managers hate hearing this.
"But we need to invest in our people. We need to give them chances to grow."
Sure. Give them three chances. That's investing.
What's not investing? Watching someone fail at the same task for six months while you pretend they'll magically improve.
Research demonstrates that accountability in the workplace increases trust, boosts engagement, and improves overall performance (Mitratech, 2025). You know what kills accountability? Tolerating repeated failures without consequences.
When I led 1,600 employees, this was my standard. Three mistakes in the same area, then we had the conversation.
"You've struggled with X three times now. What's your plan to fix this?"
Some people stepped up. They took courses. They asked for help. They figured it out.
Others didn't. And we helped them exit. Not because they were bad people. Because they were in the wrong seat.
It's Not The Company's Job To Fix You
Here's where people get upset.
"Shouldn't companies develop their employees?"
Companies should provide opportunities. Resources. Support.
But the actual work of improvement? That's on you.
Performance accountability research shows that employees' willingness to take responsibility for their work is crucial for improving organizational performance (Sun, 2024). Notice that word? Willingness.
Nobody can force you to get better. Nobody can learn on your behalf.
You're hired to do a job well. If you can't do it well, and you can't improve on your own initiative, you shouldn't be there.
How To Actually Use Your Mistake Budget
Here's the system:
Mistake one: Acknowledge it. Figure out why it happened.
Mistake two: Analyze the pattern. What skill are you missing?
Mistake three: Make a plan. In the next 30 days, you will either develop the skill, find someone to handle it, or prepare to move on.
The key is being honest with yourself. Not every failure means you're incompetent. Sometimes it means you're in the wrong role.
I'm terrible at graphic design. I tried three times to make decent marketing materials. They all looked like a toddler found Canva.
So I hired a designer. Problem solved.
That's not weakness. That's self-awareness.
The Real Standard For Growth
Want to know if you're actually improving?
Look at your mistake patterns. Are you making new mistakes or repeating old ones?
New mistakes mean you're growing. Repeated mistakes mean you're stuck.
Studies have found that error management training, which explicitly encourages learning from mistakes, leads to significantly higher performance compared to error avoidance approaches (Keith & Frese, 2008). The difference? Active engagement in the learning process.
The companies that win long-term? They make room for the right talent by moving out people who can't or won't improve.
The Burnout Connection
Tolerating repeated mistakes creates burnout on both sides.
For the person failing? The stress of knowing they're not cutting it. The exhaustion of trying to keep up with a role that doesn't fit.
For everyone else? The frustration of carrying extra weight. The resentment of watching someone coast while they work harder.
Research demonstrates that felt accountability without proper support leads to emotional exhaustion (Li et al., 2022). But the opposite is equally destructive: no accountability creates organizational dysfunction.
When you enforce a mistake budget, you're actually preventing burnout. You're creating clarity.
Both stepping up and stepping out are better than the slow grind of mediocrity.
Your Next Move
Ask yourself right now: What mistake have you made three times?
Be honest.
Then ask: What's your plan?
You learn it. You delegate it. You outsource it. Or you find a role where your actual strengths matter.
Those are your options.
The mistake budget isn't cruel. It's clarity.
And clarity might be the kindest thing you can give yourself.
If you're ready to stop repeating the same mistakes and actually level up your leadership, let's talk. Book time with me at https://book.drdegnan.com.
—Oliver
